Our basic nature is goodness. Our flaws cant stamp it out.
Our first line of defense against admitting a mistake is blaming others. When we feel shame or guilt, we want to lash out. We want to rid ourselves of the responsibility.
Before we can forgive anyone else, we must first forgive ourselves.
If we can’t find any goodness inside us on our own, we should look at ourselves through the eyes of our family, our friends, or even our pets. All of them find something to love in us. We can do the same.
When we start to forgive our more intense emotions, our guilt and shame, we uncover the underlying fear. Once we get deep enough, we discover that we just want to find happiness and to avoid suffering.
Once we see the root of our wants, we can start seeing the same in others. This allows us to connect with the actions of others and find ways to forgive them too.
Forgiving someone doesn’t mean letting them walk all over you, or absolve them of responsibility. Forgiving someone only requires giving them a chance to make it back into your good graces. They still need to correct their behavior, and you need to stay safe.
We can grow our sense of love and kindness by expanding who we can feel love and kindness for. Start with the people we easily care about, expand it to the people we might dislike or hate, and finally include every living being in our heart.
Once we can see the goodness in everyone, we stop living a guarded life and open up the door to cooperation.